Coke Bottle

Sardar: "Darling, years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle."
Lady: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.

Local Call..

Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..

Photographer

"Sardarji aapko bus me logo ne kyon maara?
" Sardarji: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gayi aur meine kaha,
"madam jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai....."

Great Man

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar:
"Any great man born in this village?"
Sardar: No sir, only small Babies!!!

FREE item

A Sardar enters shop and shouts: "Where is my free gift with this oil?"

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab...

Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!!

Jor se bolo!

Teacher: A for?

Sardar: Apple

Teacher: Jor se bolo?

Sardar: Jay mata di.

US ki Shaadi

American says: " US mein shaadi email se hoti hai.."

Sardarji says: " Achchaa... India me to.. shaadi femail se hoti hai...!!!"

Punctuation

An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

My Dog!

TEACHER: Alex, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

ALEX: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers).The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:


Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?


Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."


Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."


Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.


Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."


Woman: No, thank you.


With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.


Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."


Boy: "No thanks"


Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.


Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"


Now, this is what we call "Self Appraisal".. am I right?

Fulfilling requests...

There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.

The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.

The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.

The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.

So God made him a woman !!